Memory Eternal & Kalo Pascha!

Just a quick note to report that my father Allan passed peacefully from this life at just before noon on Great and Holy Friday. I feel very blessed to have been by his side when he departed, after spending a prayerful night with he and my mother in the ICU. Please pray for the repose of his soul.

I think it not coincidental that he died at nearly the sixth hour on Great and Holy Friday - the same hour the thief on the cross was admitted to paradise by our Lord. I hope that my father also came to know repentance in his last hours. I rely on the mercy of God that he is now in paradise.

The funeral will be held on Tuesday morning. My uncle asked that I read a piece of scripture and I am planning to read the part from the gospel of John (5:24-30) that is in the Orthodox funeral service. It seems fitting - when I was a lay reader in the Episcopal church as a teenager, my father (who really did not like organized religion, particularly the more liturgical ones) periodically snuck into a service just to hear me read. He was proud of me for doing that, even if he didn't agree with my choice of religions. So I'm honored to read at his funeral.

We didn't allow the girls into the ICU to see him. Emmelia didn't really seem to understand why adults got to go in to say goodbye but she couldn't go say goodbye to Granddad. We talked a lot about how he didn't look like himself, wasn't awake (he coded on Thursday and never regained consciousness after that), etc., and we talked about good memories and fun things she had done with him.

So after he passed, I went out to the waiting room and this is the conversation Emmelia and I had:

Emmelia: "Did Granddad die?"
Me: "Yes, he's with God now"
Emmelia: "How did he get there?"
Me: "An angel came and took his soul to heaven"
Emmelia: "Did you see it?"
Me: "No."
Emmelia: "When are we going to the park?"

My cousin with her three children and my aunt, bless their souls, arrived right then to take the kids to the park and feed them lunch - they ended up keeping them for the whole afternoon so we could go back to the hotel and sleep since I'd been up all night at the ICU and the Deac had not slept too well with the girls at the hotel. It was their first night without me but they did amazingly well. This impromptu "playdate" was such an incredible gift for us at that moment. And it was sweet to see how quickly my girls bonded with second cousins they had never met.

Tonight we are home for the Paschal liturgy. We had vague plans for where we would go if we were still at my parent's home tonight, but it's good to be at our home parish and have a chance to give the kids some normalcy before the funeral.

Kalo Pascha! In a few hours we will be singing "Christ is Risen" and "The Angel Cried." I can hardly wait.

Prayers for my Dad

My parents with the girls at our cabin near Lake City, Colorado last summer.

I got a call that my father was admitted to the hospital this morning. He was diagnosed with liver failure about a year ago and has been in deteriorating health since then. Given his recent health decline, today's turn of events is not completely unexpected. Crappy timing, but it never really is "good" timing when someone has to be hospitalized, is it? His prognosis hasn't been promising for a while now, especially since he never stopped drinking.

I want to go down there and be a support for my Mom, say goodbye (again - we've done this bit before) to Dad, be there for them. But my Mom, because she doesn't want to disrupt our lives too much or have too many things there for her to have to worry about, wants me to wait. So we wait. Truthfully, I would not be much help with the kids on hand and if the Deac can he should be here to serve Pascha (if not, we'll adjust, but at this point it doesn't seem like something we should just let drop). The hospital wouldn't let the kids in ICU anyway so there's not much I could do. We're hoping for more news later today that might impact what we decide to do with our weekend.

Thankfully I had a good chat with my father just yesterday. I feel at peace with him. I worry about him in a spiritual sense, but know all I can do is commend him to the mercy of God. And my mother, too, for that matter. Please keep them both in your prayers, too.

More on Maslenitza

Wow - someone from the CU Russian Club reads my blog? That's actually kind of cool. And a little bit freaky at the same time. ;-)

I know the Maslenitza event was not scheduled for Great and Holy Friday intentionally. I'm just a little floored at the lack of recognition of the fact that it is a holiday related to the Orthodox Christian calendar, but is held on the one day a year that makes it completely irrelevant as a cultural event for an Orthodox Christian. Believe me, I'd love to go eat a bunch of blini and play tug-of-war, just not on Great & Holy Friday. And I have been involved in campus student groups enough to know that it's really hard to fit events around the academic calendar and weather, let alone consider religious and cultural considerations too.

That said, Maslenitsa is supposed to be sort of the Russian version of Mardi Gras or Shrove Tuesday. It usually happens on the last non-fasting Friday before Lent. So it's a party with lots of food and what might be considered fun of the non-Lenten or non-spiritual kind. It's related to the fact that during Lent there won't be any of that "fun" or food - Orthodox Christians fast from all meat, dairy and oil for 40 days and also generally don't go to parties during that time.

Great and Holy Friday is the Friday during Holy Week (the week leading up to Pascha) - where Orthodox Christians observe the crucifixion of Christ. It's the strictest fast day of the year (typically nothing by mouth all day) and the one of most somber spiritual nature. This year, it occurs this Friday, April 21st.

I just find it ironic that this celebration is planned for Orthodox Great Friday. It's sort of like planning a party to honor Jewish culture and having, say, Hanukkah as the theme but holding the party on Yom Kippur when any Jews that might actually want to come are observing their most somber and fasting day of the year. I'm sure that would never happen in Boulder!

So all I was saying is that this celebration is supposed to recognize this part of Russian culture that is related to Orthodox Christianity, but the fact that it's being held on Great Friday makes it lose all cultural relevance. That's all.

It'd be nice if the Russian students were also offered extra credit for attending an Agape Vespers service this Sunday (11 am at St. Elias in Arvada if you are interested, but the same service is offered at all the Orthodox churches in the area - a Google search would probably yield service times) - the Gospel will be read in several different languages including Russian.

And now back to my regularly scheduled Holy Week...

I can't believe this!

Okay, I can, I guess, but... I try to be accepting of the cultural differences of others so it bothers me when other people are so clueless, especially here in the People's Republic of Boulder.

The CU Russian Club is planning a huge EVENT/PARTY this Friday afternoon - to celebrate the Russian holiday of Maslenitsa. Now I could probably get over the fact that they, for some reason, did not schedule this big party before Lent when it would've been more culturally relevant.

But to schedule it on Great & Holy Friday - one of the strictest fast days and holiest days of the Orthodox Christian calendar? It's like thumbing their noses at the Russian culture they pretend to be interested in celebrating.

Argh.

You can probably conclude that I will not be there. No, I will be in church during the EVENT for the Burial Service of Christ while they are having their "lots of food, a blini eating contest, effigy doll building, tug-of-war, divination rituals, fortune telling, singing, and many other Maslenitsa-related games and events. "

It just really, really bothers me on several different levels.

Beginning of Holy Week

(Photos: TOP - that's the Deac over on the left with his big blue Russian hat on; BOTTOM - Em and M show off the candles we made for them to carry in the Palm Sunday procession)

Yesterday was Palm Sunday according to the Orthodox calendar. It's a Very. Big. Deal. in Arabic culture and so the church was PACKED with people! It's the day when the kids get to show off their new attire, since the Pascha service next week will be at midnight (last year I just took my kids to the Paschal liturgy in their jammies).

So it makes sense that when we were in line at Home Depot after church the checker mentioned how dressed up Emmelia was. She spouted right out: "That's because it's Palm Sunday!" Hmmm... that guy looked confused. Then he said "I think that was last week, wasn't it?" Ha. Luckily the Deac re-appeared to hear that and begin the explanation of why our calendar is different because I can never do it in a way that makes sense.

So Holy Week is this week and the girls and I will NOT be going to many of the services. It's hard enough to get them to behave appropriately through a normal service, let alone the longer and more penitential ones of Holy Week. I'll go to one on Great and Holy Friday while they are in daycare, but other than that we will only be going to the Holy Saturday liturgy next week before Pascha. The Deac will have to pray enough for all of us, I guess. I'm kind of looking forward to the day when I get to go through all the services of Eastern rite Holy Week, because I still never have. On the other hand, I should probably appreciate the break afforded to me during this season of my life. I do appreciate the fact that I can buy easter candy and goodies for half-price this year. ;-)

Sisters are the Flowers in the Garden of Life

Aren't they cuties? I used the excellent graphics tablet the Deac gave me for Christmas to blast out this quick layout.

I had a post typed about about how much I worry about things. But then I felt more anxious the more I typed. It'll have to wait until I've had some chocolate or something.

Work on a Friday? Nah....

... not when there's scrapping to be done! My mother is taking the girls to Build-a-Bear Workshop tomorrow after the shower to celebrate Maura's birthday. I figured I should document the favorite stuffed toy that Emmelia got from her last trip to B-a-B before she brings home another one. Hee. I think it will be loads of fun - I can't wait to see what they pick out.

Okay, back to work... no, really!

So I've got 5 years to figure this out....

The universe is conspiring against me to try harder to find time to exercise:

Being 40 and overweight raises Alzheimer's risk

High levels of body fat increases chance of developing disease, study finds

SAN DIEGO - Being overweight during one’s early 40s increases the risk of Alzheimer’s disease decades later, new research shows.

“We originally thought that once we took into account diabetes and cardiovascular disease, that there would be no effect of overweight on Alzheimer’s disease, but that turned out not to be the case,” Dr. Rachel A. Whitmer said at a press briefing held at the American Academy of Neurology’s annual meeting here in San Diego.

Whitmer, from the Kaiser Permanente Foundation Research Institute in Oakland, California, and her colleagues studied data on nearly 9000 men and women who were between the ages of 40 and 45 years old when they were first examined between 1964 and 1973. Body fat was measured in the back and arms using special calipers.

During an average follow-up period of 23 years, 221 cases of Alzheimer’s disease were diagnosed.

After factoring in the effects of diabetes, stroke, high cholesterol levels, and high blood pressure, “we observed a strong independent effect for people with high levels of adiposity” in middle age, Whitmer said. Subjects with high levels of fat in the arm and back were nearly three times more likely to develop Alzheimer’s disease than those with low levels.

The association was even stronger when taking into account body mass index (BMI), an overall measure of body weight in relation to height, the researcher added.

“BMI is a good marker for overweight and obesity, but it does not take into account fat regional distribution,” she told Reuters Health. This may mean that “even if a person is of normal weight, carrying a lot of fat in certain areas, especially the (trunk), puts people at risk.”

“Doctors need to remind people that they need to think about weight in middle age,” she said. Losing excess weight and body fat in middle age is not just good for the heart, it’s also good for the brain.

Whitmer and her team plan to evaluate whether weight loss reduces the risk of Alzheimer’s disease.

Copyright 2006 Reuters Limited. All rights reserved. Republication or redistribution of Reuters content is expressly prohibited without the prior written consent of Reuters.

Memory Eternal!

Just as I posted, the Deac received news that Margarita fell asleep in the Lord. May her memory be eternal!

Life and Death

Maura's godfather is losing his mother. She's dying from lung cancer and it looks like the end is very near. If you have a prayer list and could add Margarita to it, I'm sure it would be appreciated. I feel really sad about it today since we got an e-mail saying she doesn't have much longer. But at the same time, I am so impressed with how she has handled her impending death. When she was diagnosed with terminal cancer her response was not to fruitlessly fight the disease to add seconds to her life - she accepted it as God's will and asked for prayers that she would have a Christian ending to her life - painless and blameless. I wish I could feel so confident that when my time comes I will be ready to meet God.

And, in a circle-of-life sort of way, we found out today that my cousin had a baby yesterday. It is her second baby, the second grandchild of my aunt and uncle. They had 3 daughters and this baby is the first boy in their immediate family for two generations. The girls and I are actually going to a brunch in honor of the mom and baby this weekend (the baby came a little early), so we'll get to meet him. Don't get me started on how I really feel babies and moms should be allowed rest and quiet for the first days at home..... Anyway, I made this card to give my cousin on Saturday and welcome baby Luke to the family and world. It's made using a quickpage freebie made by Ronnie McCray.

Crazy day

Just a quick post to unwind from a hectic (schedule-wise) day before I head out to pick up the girls from daycare...

Today we had the exit meeting for our inspection. It went well - no surprises, so that is good. Now it is officially over - also good.

Russian Food Day was a rousing success. People seemed to love the Cheese Pascha and Kulich (traditional easter bread) I made. I think I've perfected my recipe for Bread-Machine Kulich. It was kind of fun to get a little Easter-y treat while it's still Lent. Speaking of which, I managed to go to this traditional Russian food bazaar and not have meat - in fact, I think that only in Boulder would you find Salat Olivier (Russian chicken salad) made with tofurky. I even tried Borscht and my throat didn't close up. I hate beets. But the shi (cabbage soup) was tons yummier anyway.

Okay, off to have a relaxing evening... have a good night!

Rule of Eights

For some time now I've been aware of a certain pattern that has occurred in my life: the major spiritual phases can be broken down into periods of 8 years. I was baptized when I was 16 (so 2 eights), was an Episcopalian for 8 years, and then I was in the Western Rite for 8 years before moving to our current parish. Part of me wonders if there will be another change after another 8 years, but I also don't want to create a situation where it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy because I'm aware of the pattern.

But the other night I was thinking about my childhood and I realized there is another 8 in the pattern... I have always described the sexual abuse as happening between the ages of roughly 2 to roughly 10. For some reason it didn't occur to me until this thought process that that is... eight years.

Wow.

Not to sound like I'm into numerology or anything, but this seems significant. I do believe God can work in patterns. I mean, of course He does - nature is full of patterns. I think it's okay to recognize this to some extent as evidence that He is working in our lives. So now I'm thinking maybe the pattern of eights has to do with healing. Maybe after 8 eights I will be all healed. Okay, maybe not. But still, the idea is a fun one to consider - as long as it doesn't become obsessive or defining.

Eight is a number often considered to have a meaning, especially in the context of the Bible or Church history/tradition. If 7 is the number of completion, 8 is sort of a ... new beginning (according to a quick Google search to confirm). Yeah, that makes sense. In Orthodoxy we name our children on the 8th day after they are born; we celebrate the Resurrection on the 8th day of the week; married couples wear their crowns for 8 days after their wedding.

So maybe there's something to this. Or maybe it's just an interesing coincidence.

A birthday layout already

Last year sometime, my friend Miki of Microferk Designs made this AMAZING mega-kit called "Bedazzling Birthstones". For each month, she made a gigantic kit based on the birthstone of that month. It was so big I only downloaded the months for each of our birthdays (so, four total), but I'm sure you could use it for other projects besides birthday photos and the like. Each kit had a plethora of papers and elements. Miki really has amazing talent.

Anyway, I fixed the color problem in this photo I took on Sunday by making it black & white. I played with it a bit and am still not completely happy with it, but the fact is that it was washed out from the sunlight on the patio. There is information I wish was in the photograph that simply isn't because there was too much light. Oh well - it's still a great photo and I was tickled to finally get to use Miki's kit.

Maura is Two!

Yesterday morning, one hour and 9 minutes after the time change (would've been only 9 minutes except for the time change)... Maura successfully turned two years old! That two years flew by quickly - in a haze of sleepless nights and minor traumas. Having kids is an experience that will perfect you. There is this idea in Orthodoxy that the process of being married helps enact your salvation but I think most of this comes into play when the children arrive. It's like rubbing your soul with a pumice stone. Except there are truly funny and enjoyable bits along the way, too. And now that our youngest is past her first two years I'm looking forward to the ratio changing so that we have more and more funny and enjoyable bits.

When Emmelia turned two, I made a huge list of the things that defined and described her at this age. It's a magical age. At two a child is something she will never be again. There are pet names, likes/dislikes, and mispronounced words that from this point onward begin to slowly disappear into distant memory. So I'd like to do the same for Maura - a big list with things like "you are just beginning to say your sister's name, but you still prefer to call her 'Eye-ah' most times"; "your favorite song is 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star'." Things like that. I fully expect it to be as long as Emmelia's list, but completely different. It's amazing to me how two children with such similar genetics can have such different (but cohesive) personalities. God truly is amazing.

Since I don't believe in 2nd year birthday parties (have you ever been in a room of hyper 2 year olds where only one is the birthday child? {{Shudder.}}), we celebrated yesterday by bringing food and cake to coffee hour at church. First of all, it's Lent. Poor Maura is always going to have to have her birthday during Lent - there's just no getting around that. But I do my best to make it festive. So not only did I stay up late making a huge batch of my famous meatless meatballs (always very popular), but I tried a new recipe from my vegetarian slow cooker cookbook for vegetarian pate. Yes, pate. With the accent over the "a" that I'm not sure how to type. The Deac liked it. Most of the parishioners were polite about it (some were hilariously convinced the Deacon's wife actually brought MEAT to coffee hour during Lent). I came to the conclusion that some things were not meant to be made vegetarian. I'm just saying tofu and lentils is not a good substitute for chicken livers, that's all. Everyone sang "Happy Birthday" to Maura in English and Arabic - this frightened her so much that she dug her face into my shoulder and refused to blow out the candle. But at any rate, the day was fun and relaxing. We enjoyed calamari at Carabbas for lunch and spent the drive home watching the huge expanding smoke cloud of the wildfire that broke out west of Denver. Both girls very much enjoyed the AquaDoodle we got Maura for her birthday. We were shocked that it only came with ONE pen. Come on! Do they seriously think that one pen won't be lost within the first week? My kids share well, but one pen is hard to share so we took a family field trip out to Target after opening presents. Later, I enjoyed doing dishes in our new dishwasher - yes, enjoyed it! It is amazing what a difference quality appliances can make in your level of enjoyment of mundane tasks. All in all, a celebratory kind of day.